Google says I'm a 25-34 year old female interested in books, literature, fan fiction, television, celebrities, mythology, history and education. I guess you're about to find out how much of that is true.
bilbo - absentminded linguistics professor. please stop interrupting your lectures to recite your own poetry.
frodo - history major and only person who believes professor bilbo’s stories about the 60’s.
samwise - landscaping major, will be the best gardener in the world. frodo’s roommate. the one who does the laundry.
merry & pippin - idk partying
legolas - environmental studies. we must save the trees, etc. forced to room with gimli freshman year, whose beard is disgusting.
gimli - geology major. thinks hygiene is “gay”. keeps bringing home rocks to show legolas, who doesn’t care.
boromir - polysci major constantly stressed and tempted to cheat on all his exams
aragorn - has been living in the shadows for years, afraid to step forth and claim his degree. it is time. become who you were born to be. earn that last credit and fucking graduate.
elrond - scary pre-med professor. eyebrows.
arwen do not drop out of your phd program to marry that greasy undergrad
eowyn - women’s studies. rumor has it she killed a guy.
denethor - the weird old philosophy dept head who goes around shouting about how everything is futile
butterbur - runs the best coffee shop on campus
gandalf - the president/dean. incredible. has been known to hang out in merry and pippin’s smoky commune.
saruman - gandalf’s rude ex
galadriel - hospitality management prof. gifts for everyone! food! gifts! wine! gifts! dirt.
faramir - boromir’s failure of a younger brother. actually maintaining a 4.0 and honors. saw eowyn shout at someone and fell in love with her.
tom bombadil - nobody fucking knows.
treebeard - teaches environmental science. hooms a lot.
eomer - the fratboyest fratboy of all fratboys
celeborn - always trying to schedule a meeting with gandalf. never succeeds.
gollum - it is said that he was once an english major like us. but life has been cruel to him.
shelob - in the dark passes of the engineering building lurks a terrible shadow
